The Shame of Success

It feels like a lifetime ago that I sat on bar stools, sucking in the smoke of menthol cigarettes. I don't even relate to that broken girl, clothed in the shame of her childhood and the decisions born from her brokenness. Far too long I lived a life that was not my own; a life … Continue reading The Shame of Success →

Silencing the Flesh

It has been seven days - that's one hundred and sixty eight hours or, more dramatically, ten-thousand and eighty minutes - since my last encounter with sugar. Last Saturday night, I savored those Nestle Tollhouse chocolate chip cookies, topped with coffee ice cream, knowing it would be the last time I partook of such an … Continue reading Silencing the Flesh →

Preparing for the Journey

I don’t adapt well to sudden change. I know I developed that character trait as a result of a chaotic childhood, where sudden change stemmed from eminent danger or was followed by the loss of something that made me feel secure. That isn’t to say that I don’t like change. I actually thrive on change. … Continue reading Preparing for the Journey →

The Power to Choose

Have you ever learned something, and the minute that the knowledge hit you, you knew that you were going to have to make a change? Like, maybe you read in a newspaper article that the CEO of your favorite charity earned a salary that was so ridiculously high that you knew at that very moment … Continue reading The Power to Choose →

Learning to Live in the Gray

I was well into my thirties before I realized that my mind doesn't work the same as everyone else's mind. I don't see gray, I see black or white. There is no middle ground - you either are or you aren't, you're in or you're out. Some people think outside of the box, and I … Continue reading Learning to Live in the Gray →

Sinking

I was five years old the first time I remember leaving Phoenix. On a hot summer night, my mother loaded up her red Toyota pickup truck with all of the belongings she could fit, and my sister and I climbed in next to her. I don't remember what specific emotions I was feeling, but they … Continue reading Sinking →

I Am Enough

I spent last Sunday night in the emergency room. At around 9 o'clock in the evening, I called my husband into the bedroom where I was lying down. When he asked what I needed I told him I wasn't sure, just that I needed him. I am not a needy person, and may have never … Continue reading I Am Enough →

Less is More

I was born in Phoenix, Arizona. I lived there (off and on) for the first nine years of my life. As a child, I didn't pay much attention to the weather. Obviously, I knew it was hot. The few times that I tried to make the trek from our apartment to the laundry room barefoot, … Continue reading Less is More →

Look Up

The dust has settled from tax season and we are getting back into a routine. Well, I use that term, routine, loosely. My OCD and perfectionism love structure, but having grown up in a home (or, more accurately, about 20 homes before I turned eighteen) that lacked structure or discipline, I struggle with follow through. … Continue reading Look Up →