Ice Cream for Dinner

All or nothing. That is how I have lived most of my life. I am either all in or I am not at all, there isn't anything in between. I operate in a fixed mindset. On or off. Black or white. Truthfully, that serves me well at times. However, there are areas of my life … Continue reading Ice Cream for Dinner →

Things Too Special to Use

I am not sure if it was dumping the heavy weight of that empty hope or the promise I now can see, way off in the distance, but today, I woke up energized. It's Monday, which recently became family day in my home. It also means chores, laundry, shopping and errands, but it is a … Continue reading Things Too Special to Use →

Candles Were Meant to Be Enjoyed

What is the deal with flat surfaces becoming collection spaces? The more I de-clutter, the more I realize that every inch of flat surface area in my home is covered with stuff - books, hats, papers, flashlights - a variety of items, most of which don't have a home. I have learned on this journey … Continue reading Candles Were Meant to Be Enjoyed →

Silencing the Flesh

It has been seven days - that's one hundred and sixty eight hours or, more dramatically, ten-thousand and eighty minutes - since my last encounter with sugar. Last Saturday night, I savored those Nestle Tollhouse chocolate chip cookies, topped with coffee ice cream, knowing it would be the last time I partook of such an … Continue reading Silencing the Flesh →

One Degree of Change

It was a hot, Summer afternoon and I was sitting at a small, high-top table in my friend's dining room. She was hosting a going away party for her cousin, a young man I had met just a few months before. A few women were playing a game at one end of the table, and … Continue reading One Degree of Change →

Learning to Live in the Gray

I was well into my thirties before I realized that my mind doesn't work the same as everyone else's mind. I don't see gray, I see black or white. There is no middle ground - you either are or you aren't, you're in or you're out. Some people think outside of the box, and I … Continue reading Learning to Live in the Gray →

I Can’t…and That’s Okay

I can't. Those are two words I seldom use together. Growing up, my mom was determined to make sure I was never in a position where I would have to rely on anyone (as she had been let down too many times). When I said I can't, she would correct me and tell me that … Continue reading I Can’t…and That’s Okay →

Plan B

Yesterday was tough. In the morning, my nose was a little drippy. I sneezed a few times and thought that there must be some allergens in the air. By the afternoon, I felt the familiar pain in my lower left abdomen with every sneeze. I expected the pain, just not until Sunday. By the evening, … Continue reading Plan B →

Sinking

I was five years old the first time I remember leaving Phoenix. On a hot summer night, my mother loaded up her red Toyota pickup truck with all of the belongings she could fit, and my sister and I climbed in next to her. I don't remember what specific emotions I was feeling, but they … Continue reading Sinking →

I Am Enough

I spent last Sunday night in the emergency room. At around 9 o'clock in the evening, I called my husband into the bedroom where I was lying down. When he asked what I needed I told him I wasn't sure, just that I needed him. I am not a needy person, and may have never … Continue reading I Am Enough →