Many Things About Tomorrow…

I parked my car in the busy parking lot of a Winco grocery store. I popped my trunk, grabbed some reusable shopping bags, and found a cart. I made my way to the entrance and attempted to enter the store. I was stopped. I glanced to my left and that’s when I noticed the line. A man stood in front of my empty cart, gold badge hanging around his neck, his arm extended, showing me his palm. “Is there a line to get in?”, I asked him. He nodded and pointed to the shoppers lined up to the left of me. I moved my cart to the end of the line. The line moved quickly and I was inside in less than five minutes. I was only there to get yeast. I had looked for it at as many as five grocery stores and had no luck. My daughter wanted to make bread, and I had scored half a pound of flour out of a near-empty bin at a Bel-Air just a few nights before. If I could find her some yeast, I might qualify for mom of the year. Somehow, the presence of an officer at the door made me nervous, hurried.

When I entered the store, I noticed how full the produce section was. Unlike my local grocery store, or most of the stores I had been to, this store appeared to be fully stocked – they even had bottled water. “You’re just here for yeast,” I told myself. I didn’t need anything else. We had plenty of food at home, and I really didn’t even need the yeast, I was just trying to add joy to my daughter’s day. But somehow, that officer sent me into panic mode and I found myself wandering the produce section. I grabbed a large, plastic container full of grape tomatoes, then a ten pound bag of Idaho potatoes. Ok, now to the baking aisle, I repeated my mantra in my head, “You just need yeast.” And there, in the baking aisle, I saw the familiar empty shelf. No flour. No yeast. No bread for my daughter. I should have just left the store, but rather than make a right, my cart turned left, towards the meat department. Ground beef…they had ground beef. I wanted to make tacos, but had not seen ground beef in the store all week. “Just one package, you don’t need more,” I told myself. And then I went to the frozen section, hoping for packages of frozen bel peppers. No luck, but they did have broccoli and spinach. Oh, and soup, Winco is the only store that carries Progresso Chicken Tortilla – my favorite canned soup. Two cans, then three, then four. “I’m not panic-buying, I always grab a few cans when I am here, because it’s the only store that sells it,” I assured myself. A few more items and then I headed to the registers. Every light was lit up, every lane open. Checkout was a breeze, and I moved quickly to my car, loading everything in the trunk. Once safely inside my car, I took a deep breath. What had just happened? I wasn’t afraid – not of the virus, not of famine, not of quarantine – so what had come over me, and why?

I felt silly all afternoon, and most of the next day. Panic-buying was not really my style. And yet, this afternoon, I found myself back at the grocery store. I needed orange juice, some seasonings, and I was out of milk. When I walked in the store, there was a huge bin of bulk pinto beans. Beans – the bean shelves had been bare all week, too. While I didn’t need beans, I also didn’t have any pinto beans, and so I filled up a bag. And rice, they had bags of rice! One bag, then another made their way into my cart. What was I doing? Why was I even at the store? My sister had found yeast and flour at this very store an hour prior, purchased it for me, and delivered it to my door. Had that enticed me to come look for myself? If they had two things I had not seen all week, what else might they have?

Standing in the checkout line, I heard that still, small voice. I had been making provision for my flesh, for my belly, looking for some sort of assurance that my family would be ok for the month. I wasn’t afraid, I wasn’t panicked. But I had made extra effort to make sure the physical needs of my family would be met for the foreseeable future. What about their spiritual needs, my spiritual needs? Was I ‘panic-praying’? How about ‘panic-fasting’? Of course I had talked to God, of course I had prayed for my loved ones, and yes, I had even hosted a Bible study for my nieces and nephews earlier in the week. But what was I doing, in that checkout line, cart full of things that I might need, just in case.

I have hope. I have blessed assurance. I am a child of the Most High King, a King who owns the cattle on a thousand hills. And just like I was out searching for yeast to bring joy to my child, my Father is concerned about my needs, even my wants.

If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him.

Matthew 7:11 (CSB)

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, that statement has never been truer. Every day there seem to be new developments, new laws, longer projections about how long this will all last. It’s like the old hymn says, “Many things about tomorrow, I don’t seem to understand, but I know who holds tomorrow, and I know He holds my hand.” Amidst this uncertainty, I have peace. I urge you, today, if you find yourself in panic-mode, to take a deep breath. Be still. God is still on the throne, he is still in control. Don’t give in to the temptation to take back the reigns, but allow God to have dominion in your life. Don’t ensure that your physical needs will be met at the cost of your spiritual needs. Seek out someone who needs a little light shone in their life, and allow yourself the opportunity to shine for them.